If bands were like towns then The Sweet Ordeal would definitely look to twin with another band. But not out of civic pride, cross cultural fertilisation or some vague commercial benefits. But out of despair.
Whereas, say, Shoreham is twinned with Zywiec in Poland, The Sweet Ordeal (Pop: 2) would be twinned with Spinal Tap.
Now, why on earth would a yet to perform indie folk band be looking to twin with a mock rock behemoth, who never particularly specialised in sensitive, bittersweet songs? It's like twinning Fishersgate with Detroit. Though I should probably check Wikipedia in case that has actually happened.
The reason? We are to female singers, what Spinal Tap were to their drummers.
Yes, we've gone and lost another one. We'll miss you Bex.
When John and I first started the band, we had Sharon come to one rehearsal. She had a great, smokey voice and said she could play the cello, which obviously a bittersweet band would love. However after a few cancelled rehearsals it became pretty clear that she could not engage in the project and we said our goodbyes.
Then Andrea joined with her folkie vocals for a good few months and really felt like a founding member. Hell, we even managed to get a few recordings up on soundcloud and began talking about things beyond rehearsals, like image, performance and gigging. The fact she could not play the cello was not held against her.
Then she only went and left us to spend more time with her family or some such excuse. Anyway, she couldn't play the cello.
But to our surprise we manged to replace the lovely Andrea with Bex. In a handful of rehearsals Bex took our songs to another level with her magnificent vocal talent and her knowledge of harmonies. Here was a voice that one could really write for. And she said she could play the cello.
Then she left to take a different path. John even started questioning himself as a woman repellent. As much as I would like to have agreed for comedic purposes, I think we've just been bloody unlucky. I mean, we've lost two cellos.
By the way, for completists, Detroit is twinned with -amongst others- Minsk and Nassau and no suburb on the East/ West Sussex border. More interestingly for The Sweet Ordeal, Detroit's motto, translated from Latin is 'We Hope For Better Things; It Shall Rise From the Ashes'.
So, if you are a female vocalist and like the bittersweet indie folk genre (though that may change as I've just written a vocal about being brought up by wolves), then don't be put off: we might need you. And if it doesn't work out I know there's a vacancy for a drummer in the Tap.
