The first time as the magic number

We'd made a few attempts in my dining room and Andrea's dining room, but Tuesday October the 9th 2012 will go down as the first ever proper rehearsal of The Sweet Ordeal.

One that involved all three of us (please note John can't do Wednesdays or Thursdays, Andrea can't do Fridays, Saturdays and alternate Tuesdays and I can't do Fridays or Sundays and would prefer not to do Mondays, Wednesdays or Saturdays - yes, we are committed!) being together and being able to sing loudly.

Several false starts were made, but we've all got two kids each (The Sweet Ordealies, anyone?), jobs, families and friends. So Tuesday October the 9th - 5 months or so after John and I first met up - was the first non false start.

Of course when you are limited to essentially rehearsing in the evenings, finding a rehearsal studio is really quite difficult. After several false starts (yes, a common theme) I had a brainwave and at my suggestion Andrea approached the local school and asked if we could use their canteen. Obviously knowing that they might be part of the beginning of a folk phenomenon they agreed.

School's out for strummers. Adult sized chairs optional. October 2012. Photo: Nick McMaster

It was here that we confirmed we'd work on 4 songs, whereas before we'd gone through everything we had. It was a bit frustrating as that meant ignoring all the other material (since the start of the project I'd either written the lyrics or the lyrics and music to about 10 songs) but we knew we had to be disciplined if we were serious about the whole thing and work towards a small open mike/ bottom of the bill set. 

Due to unforeseen circumstances, sadly we could only use the canteen for two sessions. But if we do end up with some kind of rewarding career, I for one will look back at this time where we were truly formed, tiny toilets and all.  

All in a name

The Partial
Those Were Crows
The Left Hand Congress
Norway Street
Observatory Crest
Skin of a Lion
Scaffolding Snap
Between the Crosses
Library Fight
The Warm and The Cold
Be That Fly
These Things Are Good Things
The Cruel Auction
The Mizzling Days
Blame The Dark

And these were only my names.

God, it's hard coming up with name for a band. Let me rephrase that: it's hard choosing the name for a band.

When I tend to start a project I get into it really quickly. I wanted us to get a name so I could start a blog that no one reads and a twitter account that only very random people will follow. And my dreams have come true.

And this list is just the names that have been Googled. I came up with at least double this but they failed the Google test: I.e. type the startlingly original name you have come up with into a popular search engine and add 'band' and/ or 'music' and discover that another indie folk outfit has got there first.



It got so frustrating that I ended up coming up with my own indie folk name generator. Imagine if you will a three part Venn diagram. The classic name in this genre is one part pastoral/ nature, one part quaint, one part oblique. Now concentrate: If all three overlap you reach nirvana (the state of being, rather than the band). If pastoral/ nature and quaint overlap you get vomit inducing, quaint and oblique is pretty standard, oblique and pastoral etc.  is Wickerman territory. Savvy?

So Those Were Crows is probably nirvana, like Fleet Foxes. Library Fight standard, like The Magic Numbers, The Mizzling Days Wickerman like One Direction (Sorry, a different kind of horror). The Sweet Ordeal, I reckon is standard, but after the stress of the whole, er, ordeal, I am happy enough with us not reaching nirvana.

Though sadly for the first time in my life, the name of the band I'm in wasn't thought up by me. It was John. I'd like to say that we fought over naming rights like two alpha males re-enacting the Reed Bates naked wrestle in Women in Love. But I'd be wrong.

Quite frankly from a man who said the name should be generated from the colour of your underwear added to what you last ate The Sweet Ordeal was a master stroke. We could have so easily been called Commando Porridge. But John hated all my names and Andrea appeared to only be able to think up names that sounded like covers bands (Meteoric Metaphoric anyone?). So like a blown apart Venn diagram we never met in the middle, until John had his moment and I gave in knowing that the person who had previously played in Andre Breton's Steam Powered Whippet Band, Nar'f, Underlounge, Malevich (okay, nobody's perfect) was going to cede ground.

Despite later learning that The Sweet Ordeal was the name John gave himself for one disastrous gig, I have really warmed to the name. It may be his sloppy seconds...hey wait...that's the underwear and food thing again isn't it?

That fateful day, captured

So my friends, here is the moment, captured in time, of me singing Folsom Prison Blues at my daughter's 5th Birthday Party in May 2012.

The photographer was John Hamilton, now our singer and guitarist. What was going through his mind at this time? Here is someone who should be in an indie folk band with me? Here is my future lyricist? If I invite him to play with me, will he stop traumatising the children? We shall never know unless he adds to this blog.

Not long after this John and I had our first jam. Before then I had a baby doll to cut in half for the magic section of my show. I kid you not.

I bet Johnny Cash never did that.

Convicts are more forgiving. Nick giving it the Folsom Prison Blues. May 2012. Photo: John Hamilton

And Introducing The Sweet Ordeal

Welcome one and all, or most likely one, to the blog of my good self of The Sweet Ordeal; a newly formed indie folk band from the outer reaches of Brighton.

It may be a bit premature to start a blog when we have only just started proper rehearsals, but a man needs something to do during those times when he can't thrash around on a ukulele in the kitchen at night.

So, here's a brief history that will lead you nicely up to this point in time:

May 2012: 
I play my uke at my oldest daughter's fifth birthday party, bashing out Folsom Prison Blues and such like to the assembled gathering of short people. Think Lord of the Flies, only with face paint and cheesy Wotsits. Amongst the adults is John, a professional photographer (and, as it turns out, music connoisseur), who is accompanying one of the mums and kindly documenting this important social occasion in the Portslade calendar.

May 2012: 
A few days later John, speaks to my partner and asks her if she thinks I'd like to be in a band. She foolishly says yes, not realising the consequences could lead to the aforementioned kitchen scenario and even, dear reader, a blog.

June 2012: 
After a few phone calls and attempts at arranging a get together (the Hollywood version will make it much more edge of your seat), John and I do finally get together round my house. Tentatively and a bit chaotically we show each other what we can do via the art form known as the cover version. John is quite a bit better. I may appear more enthusiastic. A template is set.

John also tells me about his other folky band, Ghostwood, indicating I could join their rehearsals. But due to the fact that they rehearse on Mondays, I say no and as they say: the rest is history. However, this meant we ended the evening abandoning the covers and attempting to write a song together.

We succeed in starting something that eventually becomes One Eye Shut, which you would have heard of if we were not exclusively in rehearsals. The other amazing thing about this evening is that John and I have our first falling out. No, it wasn't about whether to use a capo or not, it was about nuclear power versus wind power. John, imbibed on red wine and frustration accused me of not knowing the difference between nuclear fission and nuclear fusion. I didn't have the heart to tell him he was right.

July 2012:
By July John and I have worked on a number of original songs, which for me is amazing. John you see is an accomplished guitarist and singer songwriter. I on the other hand bought a uke for my 40th just to play in a Joe Royle sing-a-long type fashion at family gatherings. Over the subsequent years I'd just play covers on my own for a bit of fun. Never did I think I'd end up composing in the hope of tormenting the public in the future.

I'd been in numerous bands in the past, but usually only as the singer. However, I'd always been the lyricist, so with my Jennifer to John's, er, John, we were becoming the Hart to Hart of the indie folk world. And as Max once said: 'Together, they were murder!" Somehow, despite our energy generating differences John and I really clicked and that enabled me to discover a hidden talent: I could write a song!

Right at the beginning John and I always felt we wanted a female vocalist to help us create harmonies and provide a different quality to some of the lyrics. After a brief flirtation with one neighbour, we found another, Andrea, who was a backing singer to another folk singer songwriter called Jake.

August 2012:
During the summer the three of us only meet up sporadically, constantly defeated by the impact of work, child care and having a life on our ability to find a day in the week where we could all meet up. It is a frustrating time but John and I continue to write some songs and once or twice Andrea and I work on harmonising. When we are together in any combination (usually in my dining room) we try something, nod, smile wryly and utter the word 'potential', but the frustration to push forward is still there.

October 9th 2012:
We finally have a proper rehearsal in, of all places, my daughter's school's canteen. John on acoustic guitar, me on concert and soprano ukes, all on vocals. It's cold, the chairs are built for midgets, but it's ours! We decide to focus on originals One Eye Shut, Feet of Clay, Museum of You and Campbell and Lanegan's Keep Me In Mind Sweetheart. This is the formation of our first set. All systems go!

All we need is a band name, and, bugger, we can't meet the following week...